Category Archives: comic

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BFF Friends Forever

We were friends forever.
 
I laughed at your jokes
 
You laughed at mine.
 
We enjoyed coffee, late nights,
And the same really bad comedies.
 
Then one day, I realized…
 we have different political views.
And in that moment understood,

 

I never really knew how much I hated you.
 
 
 
The End.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I WILL EAT YOUR FACE!
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I am the Alpha!

Dear beloved PuppyWumpykins and KittersMcKitterKat,

I would adore it if you could please refrain from being the “leader” of our household treks if you do not actually know where we are going.  (I mean, realistically speaking, we can only go to the kitchen or upstairs from the couch.  It is not like you actually *need* to stop over and over again in front of my ankles…  It is not like there is any *guesswork* in realizing we are either going forward to the kitchen or up to the bedroom. but I am getting off topic.  You are like a wild cougar and a wild, majestic wolf, and I cannot presume to know the purpose behind your untamed, beastly ways..)

For you see, if I die, you will only have enough food from my body to sustain you for a week or two until I am far too rotten to eat.  In the end, my death would benefit none of us.

Also, winter is coming and I would be unable to turn on the heat.  You like heat. 

Yours Truly,
Your Food and Potty Servant

 
 
The End.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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OMG… You are so Skinny (%$#%&).

Being introverted and having extreme social anxiety, I am often confused by the nuances of social interaction.  I often require a lot of contemplation before I realize if someone is being snide, thoughtful, sarcastic, funny, or mean. 
If I am secure enough in being justly confused, I’ve learned to be very honest about that confusion.


This helps me from being very resentful later and assuming that whoever I was talking to MUST have been making fun of me.
Other times, I am unsure as to whether I am confused, and I stare blankly, unable to formulate a response.  


This inability to interact with others in any sort of natural way has greatly prohibited me in formulating friendships.   Basically, my awkwardness is so great that people tend to *get* that they shouldn’t try small talk with me.


That said, I’ve still somehow managed to form small little pockets of friends and acquaintances.   One thing that is new to me is friendships with women.  This means I now have entirely new areas of social interaction to be utterly confused over.

I’ve probably mentioned in the past that I have body issues.  No matter what my size, it is very difficult for me to not see someone grotesquely fat in the mirror. 


 Well, I recently went to lunch with some of my work friends.  We hadn’t seen each other since school let out two months ago.   About five minutes into conversation, one of the ladies tells me I’ve gotten very skinny over the summer.  Logically, I knew I had not lost any weight since they’d seen me last, but what a great word! 
Then another woman chimed in saying, “Yeah, I hated you for a minute when I walked in… :D.”  And it was just then that I saw a flash in her eyes that told me


 She


Was



                                NOT


                                                Kidding…


How do I process that?  Then I remembered there was no need to panic.  I’ve seen this kind of thing on TV before, and I was pretty sure this was how women showed they liked each other. 
Pretty sure…

So I took it as a natural girl thing.  This is how we women communicate with each other.  I gave an awkward smile, and, not wanting to come off as egotistical, I decided the logical course of action was to clear up the confusion.  Then there would be no secret hatred.   And I would not be getting all this attention.  (Did I mention I have yet to learn how to take a compliment?)


I informed them I had not lost weight since they last saw me, and I even gained a little bit.  It was obviously my great new shirt, which, in all of its super-cuteness glory, made me look skinnier.    No, they corrected me.  I was wrong.   They said my arms looked skinnier, so I pulled up my sleeve and showed them my arm had indeed not become skinnier.  They informed me I was wrong again. 


Not wanting to be like one of those stupid skinny girls who walk around all skinny and obnoxious and seeking praise by telling everyone how fat they are so everyone else is forced to compliment them…


I decided to do the unthinkable. 
Now, I am not really sure why in my head this seemed like the right course of action, but I then became certain that if I collected the strength and courage to tell them my real weight, all this awkward, odd compliment-ness would come to an end and I would be out of this hole I dug myself into of trying to convince these women I did not become skinny. 
So I said it…  

This did not help me.  They then mocked my courage, and laughed about how yeah, sure, they all weigh that amount too (insinuating they definitely did not weigh that amount).


I am thinking, in the future, the right response might just be, “Thank You, and I love your hair!”
Perhaps I need to watch some more TV to help me prepare. 
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All photos and drawings are by me.  They may not be amazing, but they are mine.  If you share them, please share where you got them.

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On the Perils of Stress and the Joys of Organization

Oh  Gaaaaaaawd. 
 Schoooooooool is starting again. 
Oh nooooooeeeeees. 
GAAAAAWWWWWWWW.

Yeah, that’s right.  It is a week before I have to go back to the world of being an adult.
Growing up, I simply assumed that adults had their stuff together.  I was especially certain that people as high up as teachers had to have it together (whatever “it” was…. honestly, I figured that “it” was opened up for us once we reached a certain age, like, through some Divine intervention or something).



Gandalf saves the day!

Perhaps this flawed belief was all part of my inability to question the world around me.  Personally, I have had many moments in the last few years that prompted me to stop in my tracks and wonder how the heck I got here.  How did I become an adult?  How did I get a grown-up job?  How am I in charge of the the education of these children?

I assumed there would be some grand moment when it would become very clear… that I would become, know, feel, understand, and be at home in adulthood.  Many cultures do have such crossing-over rituals, but I wonder, when the children are done hunting the bear, getting the proper piercings, participating in the proper ceremonies, do they then KNOW they are adults?  Do they feel it in their souls and deep within the marrow of their bones?  I ask this because I know I don’t feel it.  I understand it, but I don’t have an internalized sense of it inside of me.

 So every year I begin stressing out about the school year to come.

Summer spoils me.  I am naturally introverted (like, seriously, devoutly, introverted), so while I occasionally enjoy summer in much the same way as normal people would, the parts I seem to relish most include sleeping in until eleven, staying up late, listening to music, drawing, reading, and so on.  Mostly my activities involve being with me.

And really… what I really enjoy most… is not having responsibility.  I loooooooooove not having responsibilities.  I am in love with not having responsibility.  If I saw not having responsibility at a party, I would totally make out with it.

As a side note, It frequently slips my mind that most people, in fact, do not actually have summers off.   This fact usually pops in my head mid-way through bumming out on people about having to go back to work, and I see the look in their eyes that reminds me about how they have been working full time for the last two months.
…my bad.

Along with being introverted, I am also very neurotic.
I take responsibility and I run at it so hard that I become completely exhausted by the time I complete any given responsibility.  Then I handle the other responsibilities on the list just as dramatically.  Though I have been working on being happy with myself for doing an ok or a good job instead of the BEST JOB THEY HAVE EVER SEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNN each and every time I do any given job!

So yeah, summer is at an end, which means waking up five days a week at 6:00 a.m. (poor me), being on time, lesson planning out the wazoo, planning for any possible event that could happen, staying late, feeling behind, being frustrated with myself, having a large to-do list, having to complete each item of said to-do list on time… and often (I am learning) *before* on time.






Can not unsee!

This last year has been a lesson in what “on time” means.  Apparently, the concept of due dates means something very different to me than what it means to others.  I’ve found that waiting to turn paperwork in on time simply leads to multiple “reminder” emails in the days before the due date reminding me that the due date is getting ever closer until said e-mails get panicky,


then depressing,

then passive-aggressive,

and then…

aggressive.          

Yes, I have been learning this past year that in the grown-up world due dates are actually seen as the last-possible minute by those who would like for me to be turning things in.  Applying this knowledge in the coming year, however, will still be quite the task.  You tell me that you need something Tuesday, my natural inclination is to turn it in Tuesday.
BAD inclination!

So I got a super-sweet calendar.  It is made just for teachers.

My plan is to mark a good time to turn in various tasks (days before the due date) as well as the last possible minute (i.e. in my world… the due date).  Perhaps this attempt at keeping myself on task will actually stick.

It even has a plethora of fabulous stickers.

And these wonderful lines, so I can make lists.  I fully intend to color-coordinate these lists. 

I am going to be so organized.  For about a month, at least, but hopefully for longer.

*Sigh*  We shall see.  But when/if the calendar fails, I also have a desk calendar, a planner, color-coordinated paper clips, and an unspeakable amount of Post-It Notes and filing tabs.  Maybe one day I will reveal my extreme office-supply obsession.

Hehe, “Your office-supply obsession sounds fascinating.” said no one ever.
Here is hoping for a well-organized year!

Cat Photo-
Hate Drawing-
All the rest of the photos and drawing are mine.  I get that they are not particularlly fascinating or well done, or artistic, but please don’t steal them without sharing where you got them.
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Finding My Own Missing Piece: Lessons Learned by Being Single Part II

I decided to be single.


Not just temporarily single, not a rest or a breather while secretly waiting for the next guy.  I decided to be with me, just me, and work on being complete and happy unto myself. 

I decided to have my home, my art, my music, my space, my reading… my life.  I was finally willing to accept the idea that if I can’t be happy with myself, I am not going to be happy with anyone else.  This concept was just one of many ideas I was certain only applied to other people. 

So here I am, a year and a half later, single.  I have not dated or sought a man.  And here are a few of the lessons I have learned:

1. I am a very selfish person. 
I always viewed love in terms of what I could get out of it, and was never willing to give more than I took.

2. There is nothing wrong with romance novels.
Hey, I needed something to pass the time.

3.  It is not “his fault” that I am not out traveling, making great art, finding new bands, playing the piano, writing, hiking, and taking risks.

How I Imagined Single Life
 I don’t do these things because I am poor, have high-anxiety, and well, I can be a bit lazy.  I have finally started working on these things.  I create art about once a month, I am taking piano lessons once or twice a month, I occasionally find a new band, and I work to step out of my comfort zone.  However, all the hurdles keeping me from these things stem within me.  It is my journey, and my trials. 

I will not be playing a piano concert soon, nor will I have a showing at an art gallery any time soon.  I also will not be driving across the country any time soon.  Maybe I’ll get to do these things eventually, but I have only acquired a small portion of what I was certain would instantaneously happen if some guy wasn’t standing in my way. 

Actual Single Life
During this time I developed an unnatural love for Richard Blaiz,
Agent Booth, Gary from Alphas, and Dr. Brian Cox.
4.  Copy and paste above text, but insert “hanging out with my friends”. 
Sorry guys. 

5.  I fall for people who fall for me. 
Yup, I am attracted to attraction, in love with love. I’ve actually had very few instances in the last year and a half when I thought, “Man!  That guy is cute.  How can I get him to notice me?”  (Ok, at least I haven’t felt this about real people.  I still think I am gong to marry Dr. Brian Cox from the Discovery Channel or Agent Booth from Bones. )  

Physics is Sexy
After seeing this amazing drawing, Dr. Cox is totally going to want to talk all sciencey
to me and marry me. I think he will like his Abe-Lincoln beard that was supposed to be
shading because I made his face too fat and didn’t want to start over.   Emo hair, yum.

 So, without getting into relationship-seeking mode, my next goal is to look around and see who and what I am attracted to without them showing an obvious attraction to me. If the world was my smorgasbord, what would I want to put on my plate?

6. I am not different from other women.  
I have the same fears that I used to belittle.  I am 32.  Is it too late to get married?  Is it too late to have a kid?  Will a guy want me with my wrinkles and stretch marks?  How do I fit in?  How do I make friends?  How do I get rid of the unwanted aspects of my personality and fill those holes with the things I wanted to be?

One thing single life has given me is the ability to look at myself and work on changing myself… mostly because I no longer have the option of looking at and wanting to change the flaws in someone else.  It has been a very good year for me, and I hope to continue shedding my fears until I can walk, smile, live, laugh, and love, unafraid. I know it is my journey now, and not some natural-born right that is being taken from me.  There are certain truths we can only experience because we’ll never believe it if someone tells us. 
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Flower http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/3457443391/
Love http://www.flickr.com/photos/camdiluv/4373811197/sizes/s/in/photostream/
Drawings by me.  If you share them, please share where you got them.



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